VICTORIA • BC Minister of Earth, Wind and Fire, Joyce Murray, has pledged that she will make changes to the newly restarted grizzly hunt to ensure the preservation of a newly endangered species. Murray made the surprise announcement at this weekend's ribbon-shooting ceremony to mark the BC Liberals' lifting of the grizzly hunting moratorium.

A collective gasp went up from the assembled black-tie, orange-vest crowd and a few nervously fingered their rifles. Murray explained that although she was pretty sure "BC has thousands of grizzly bears out there somewhere, the number of grizzly hunters have precipitously declined recently."

Murray assured her audience that this tragic extinction could still be averted. "My government and my ministry will do everything in their power to protect this endangered species and preserve viable populations of grizzly hunters who will be able to tell hunting stories to our grandchildren," she declared.

"My ministry has already dismissed 14 fundamentalist wildlife preservation and biodiversity researchers who have been missing the camouflage forest for the treeed bears," explained Murray, " and we will replace them with experts on the eatin', drinkin', drivin' and killin' habits of big game hunters -- to improve their survival and comfort." She noted that the BC Liberals' tax cut on Sport Utility Vehicles would be a boon to hunters -- more would be able to afford luxury SUVs.

"For more than 100 years, BC has provided crucial habitat for trophy hunters from around the world. The BC Liberal government is proud to continue that important tradition by reversing the NDP's counter-productive grizzly hunting moratorium," crowed Murray.

In a bold conservation move to return grizzly hunter populations to historic levels, Murray announced that BC would be offering a 2-for-1 special on the $3000 grizzly trophy fee this fall. "This is the best way to ensure that hunters pair up and quickly multiply their numbers," she said.

Murray pointed out that the grizzly hunt would have many positive spin-offs in the provincial economy. "The many US and German CEOs who enjoy world-class trophy hunting will experience that BC is open for business again. After the thrill of dropping an 800 pound bear, they'll want to come back and bag a few BC takeover-target companies, trap an open-pit mine, or make a killing in offshore oil and gas," she concluded.